1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

13. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same day.

Sometimes, you just gotta have an egg-salad sandwich. Well, here’s my recipe for one, including instructions for how to hard boil an egg (certainly not rocket science, but necessary to know anyways). This recipe makes one tasty sandwich, and there’s only 8 grams of fat and 311 calories! Eat up!

Hard Boil:
There’s really no magic secret to this. Place one fresh egg into a pan, and fill it with water (not too much - just enough to cover one inch on top of the egg). Bring the water to a boil. Only once the water is boiling should you set your timer for 10 minutes. Have a bowl of cold water ready, and once the time is up, place the egg in it (this prevents split whites and sticky yolks from forming). After a few minutes (once the egg has cooled), take it out and rub it between your hands to loosen the shell and peel it off. Congratulations - you just hard boiled an egg.

Ingredients:
- 1 large hard-boiled egg
- 1 tablespoon of low-fat mayo (or regular, if you’re one of “those” people)
- 1 teaspoon of yellow mustard
- 1/2 teaspoon of sugar (or Splenda, if you’re watching your wasteline)
- 2 slices of bread (I’m a bit of a health nut, so I always go with wheat. But whatever floats your boat)
- 2 or 3 slices of ripe tomato

Directions:
- Cut up your egg in little chunks (doesn’t have to be perfect).
- Mix in your mayo, mustard and sugar with the egg.
- Add this mixture to your bread slices (you can toast or not toast it), and top it off with the tomato.
- Enjoy!